Date Night! or Why I Still Like You

I have changed my shirt at least three times.  My wallet, which was full this morning will now be totally empty. I will have gone through more than a tank of gas by the end of the night.  That's right folks, it's date night!

Hey those dogs stole my reservation for the alley table!  

It's  very tempting once you're dating for a long time or are engaged, and even more once you're married I'd think, that "dates" are a trivial thing.  You see your girlfriend or boyfriend all the time.  You're busy with work, school, wedding planning.  The time you have together has to be productive.

I argue that a date is productive.  But only when you are focused on each other.  It's really common now that in my relationship, as we are both busy with jobs and job hunting and wedding planning, that other topics are the main focus of our conversations.  Sometimes days can go by where seemingly we talk of nothing but what happened at work, what venues we like, and the eventual question that arises from each of us, "Do you still like me?"

"I feel like we never talk anymore!" "That's because we have no mouths"  image from funinmarriage

I don't know if other couples are as blunt in asking each other this and perhaps its just a mutual trait of insecurity me and my beloved share but it gets asked fairly often by both of us.  And lately even more often.  And it scares me a little bit.  I started wondering, "Why are we doing this?  What's wrong?  Why are we miscommunicating and not feeling like we are 'liked' by the person we are going to spend our lives with?"

The quick and easy answer (which conveniently ties into this blog's title) is we haven't had many dates lately.  All of our talking is focused on something: something we have to do or are worried about or a duty or family obligation we haven't fulfilled and are stressed about.  A date is about someone.  Dates are how people who are discerning a relationship come to learn who the other person is and if they're someone they want to be with.  Engaged and married couples already know we want to be with that person.  So dates are a matter of reminding us who our spouse is deep down, the person we fell in love with, and becoming more the person they fell in love with.

And that's not to say that people don't change.  They do and the relationship grows in different ways as our personalities develop more fully as we grow older.  I'm not under the delusion that I'll be the same man at 50 or 70 or even 30 that I am today.  I pray I won't be.

However, the fact remains that a couple is together because they love each other and a date, with no phones, emails, concerns of business or what they're doing tomorrow, can revitalize what was stagnant or remind them why it's worth all the other stressful stuff: because you're doing it for your loved one!  For your husband or wife and your children and family!

Life is stressful but life is good!  God loves us and gave us this helpmate, this woman or man that we are crazy about and completely head over heels for.  The person that drives us nuts and sometimes drives us too far.  But that's why there are 24 hour gas stations, for the same reason we have dates, to refuel and get back on the right road.

So today's joy is my beloved, the woman of my dreams, the girl I'm going to marry. God bless you darling girl, I cannot wait to see you tonight.  I look forward to our date, tonight and all the date nights to come.

...better try on a different shirt again....

~OneCatholicGuy