This morning I flipped through the Bible and stumbled upon the story of Jacob. I faintly recalled that Jacob was married to two women and I knew they were sisters. Or maybe that was just a show I fell asleep during on TLC. Regardless, in an attempt to understand how the man who would be Israel and the stem of the rest of the scriptures leading up to the coming of Christ, I read Genesis 29 and 30.
For those equally unfamiliar with the story, Jacob (Issac's son, Abraham's grandson) is fleeing from Cannan because he tricked his father into blessing him instead of his brother Esau and his brother wants to kill him. So, Jacob is talking to some shepherds, discovers he's in the country of his uncle Laban. Rachel, his wife to be, show up with some sheep and he kisses her and bursts into tears yelling for joy. A mini-family renuinon. She brings him to her father and Jacob starts to work for Laban. Laban asks what he wants for wages and he says he wants to marry Rachel. It's at this time we also meet the eldest daughter, Leah who is described as having lovely eyes (alternate translation is "weak" eyes which sound lovely if not iron deficient). Laban agrees and he works for him for seven years, "yet they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her." (Gen29:20). How sweet.
Now it gets weird. Jacob asks to consummate the marriage since his seven years are up. He consummates the marriage and then in the morning discovers, oops, that was Leah! You'd imagine he'd be able to tell. But don't imagine that, since he wasn't and consequently asks Laban why he did this. Laban gives an excuse that you need to marry off the eldest first and Jacob has to finish the bridal week with Leah before marrying Rachel.
It's an interesting punishment to say the least and, besides the weirdness of him marrying two sisters by accident, it fits his particular crime. Jacob is running from his older brother because he stole what was rightfully his. Laban, for all his trickery, is trying to prevent the same thing happening to Leah. She is the firstborn and rightful to be married before her younger sister.
That being said it's tough to see Leah as blameless, even if she looks at you with her puppy dog weak/lovely eyes. She knew obviously that sleeping with Jacob was a deception and she participated but we don't know the reasoning behind it. But this quote stands out as making her sympathetic,
"When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he made her fruitful, while Rachel remained barren." Gen 29:31Because Leah did not have Jacob's love but was now part of this marriage to him, God gave her six children of the twelve who would become the branches of the nation of Israel.
The way Leah names her children shows an evolution of her understanding of her relationship to Jacob and the Lord. Leah's firstborn is Reuben which she said means, "The Lord saw my misery; now my husband will love me" (Gen 29:32). Leah is despondent over not having Jacob's love, all her focus is on her failing marriage. Naming her second son, Simeon, "she said, 'It means, 'The Lord heard that I was unloved so he has given me this one also'" (Gen29:33). This is what the scripture says is the Lord's reason for making her fruitful, because she is unloved. Levi, the third is named because of her husband will be "attached" to her. She's no longer seeking Jacob's love in the same way she originally was but just a connection. Jacob's love is not truly for her and she can't force it with these children. Finally Judah is born, the ancestral origin of the line of David, and she says, "This time I will give grateful praise to the Lord" (Gen 29:35). Her love and praise has gone to it's proper place, the Lord. Her attention is finally on the source of love and, lesson learned, she stops bearing children...for now.
Meanwhile in Gen 30, poor Rachel is still infertile. We actually learn that she's so desperate to have children she allows Jacob to sleep with her servant and later he also sleeps with Leah's servant and has many more children. Rachel's first two children (via surrogate) she names Dan and Naphtali because she had been "vindicated" and "prevailed over her sister" (Gen 30:6-8). For Rachel this is all about a battle with sister and Jacob barely matter in the equation. We may imagine she isn't even making love to her husband, if only because he's too busy schtupping everyone else. Their great instant love is challenged and tested by this unfruitfulness and, much like Jacob's grandmother Sara, she has resorted to a vicarious birth.
Rachel is so desperate to bear a child that she allows Leah to sleep with Jacob again in exchange for mandrakes that Reuben found. Mandrakes appearantly are known for promoting conception and are an aphrodisiac (I guess oysters are out of the question since they're not kosher). And it certainly did...for Leah. Leah names the fifth son Issachar saying, "God has given me my reward for having let my husband have my maidservant." (Gen 30:18). That's strange for any number of reasons, one of which is she called Jacob her husband again, perhaps unlearning the last lesson of handing herself and her children over to God. The next son she says her husband will offer her presents because of bearing him six sons! What is this, one of those bear six get one free deals? Presents? How about some child support?
This all seems so trivial! How is this intensely fruitful marriage reduced by the 7th child (Dinah, a daughter) to, "maybe I'll get a present?" Because it's not the real marriage. The intended marriage is supposed to be between Jacob and Rachel, not Leah or any number of maidservant. And the scripture says,
"Then God remembered Rachel; he heard her prayer and made her fruitful. She conceived and bore a son, and she said, 'God has removed my disgrace' So she named him Joseph, meaning, 'May the Lord add another son to this one for me!" (Gen 31:22-24).
God remembered Rachel and bore her the son she had waited so desperately for. Joseph we follow for the rest of Genesis and is a very good man, who also suffers much affliction like his mother. And she asks for another, a son that will be born to her on her deathbed in Gen35, Benjamin, "Son of my affliction". Rachel suffers greatly but bears two sons in the end. Her disgrace, like her husband, is tied to her sibling rivalry. It was their pride partially that blocked her from having children but God does not forget his people and finally answers her prayer.
I'm struggling now to figure out a tie to the joy of Easter here. I think, like all things, we will the find the answer in Christ. Jesus is the firstborn of God and the first to be ressurected in glory. He totally gave of himself to offer us the chance to be God's children. We all are united in Christ and reconciled to the Father. And I guess one thing I gleam from the story of Rachel and Leah and Jacob is that in marriage you have to constantly turn to God. As wonderful as your spouse is, you are loving God in your love for them and your fruitfulness comes from Him. Sex is the ultimate bond of love and it's our share in God creative act. That mutual love is not something that can be trivialized or trampled upon by circumstances in our lives. We have to offer ourselves wholly to God first and then to our husbands and wives.
I thought I thought another thought but it's escaped me. Point is, love you spouse, love God, and dont trick your inlaws into sleeping with the wrong relative.
Until tomorrow,
In Christ's love,
~onecatholicguy
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