40 winks after work

I realized this morning that I missed two posts this week because of late nights and travelling and tonight I fear the same thing may happen so, to prevent that, I am posting early.  You ever get the sleepy midday feeling after a big lunch?  That's kinda what I have right now.  I want to say something profound, perhaps about the importnatce of the Ascension or the Pope's recent visit to the Holy Land but I'm just durn tired right now. 

I've been very blessed this week to have some part time work.  It's the first work I've had in several months and I've found I'm getting pretty exhausted by the end of the day.  That's a good thing, but I'm even more tired today on my day off.  Partially the muggy dawn of summer is to blame but there's something to be said about work and exhaustion. 

Very often, people who have high stress jobs or exceedingly long commutes can go into a zombie like state once they are done working.  They cannot process anything because their mind and body have been moving too fast all day.  That's completely understandable but also a shame.  Their families never get to see them at their peak state that makes them so productive during the workday.  And at the same time unemployment can rob you of your energy and make you feel worth less than you are.  

The key thing is to work to live not live to work.  We should love our jobs and be ambitious and try and make as much progress in our days as we can.  But what is more important is the whole of your life- not just what you do but also who you are, how you love, etc.  

o as I'm tired today, feeling still very lethargically unemployed I pray to God that I remember the truth- that I am a person, created and loved by God the Almighty Father. 

May the Holy Spirit grant us who are tired in mind, spirit and body a refreshing new spring of energy today and help us remember that our true vocation is to love God and one another and our work should be one of many expressions of that work.  

~OCG

Joy in Disappointment

Today started out very sad for me.  After months of waiting to hear back from a company I'd interviewed with several times, and being told the prospects of a job were very good, I was informed that the position went to someone else.  

After months of unemployment, this was the closest I had gotten to a full time job.  This was the job I was hinging my future hopes on: the job I thought I may keep when I was married and the job that may launch my career.  But it did not happen and that may be for the best.  

Unemployment really does take a toll on you.  It makes you feel worthless, empty, scared, and not good enough.  That's how I felt this morning, "I'm not good enough.  They didn't want me".  Of course this extreemly personal statement of rejection is unwarranted and for the employer business is business.  But in the moment you never can phrase it that way to yourself.  And, even more untrue, is saying that you're worthless.  Realizing this is a falsehood is what leads to today's joy. 

The truth is that I am a person of value.  I am a child of God: a human created in the image of the Father, reborn in the baptism of the Son's passion and resurrection, and confirmed in the Holy Spirit.  My life is valuable because God says so.  That's a lot more important than whatever job I may have not gotten today.  God has made all of us because we all are valuable to Him, even the unemployed, the homeless, the undesirable to others.  Especially them in fact.  The Lord hears the cry of the poor and loves them as they give back to Him even out of their want. 

During last Sunday's mass I was mediatating on Christ's wounds and the deep suffering he faced in His Passion.  As the priest consecrated the Host and I saw the Blessed Sacrament raised above the altar, Body seperated from Blood, I reflected (as best as I could) on Christ's death.  We don't neglect this now that we are in Easter.  We don't consecrate all the hosts on Holy Thursday and leave out the sacrifice of the mass through the Easter season.  No, in order to celebrate Easter weekly we still must remember Christ's suffering.  Though He died only once, for His sacrifice is so complete and perfect no other sacrifice is necessary for salvation, we still remember His death every mass.  

And so too does our suffering combine with Christ's in our struggles as members of His Body.  My suffering is miniscule compared to other peoples.  A few months unemployment is typical of many people nowadays and I am happy to be so blessed as to not be struggling even more financially.  I have a home and a family and a fiancee who love and help me.  I am truly grateful for these daily gifts God gives me.  But I also need to thank Him for this suffering, for the burden of unemployment.  For, in my life, this is a way I can share in the wounds of Christ.  I will never be a martyr or a great hero of the Church but I strongly desire to lay down my life for God, and in this small way I can.  All of our little sufferings are opportunities to share in the Passion of Our Lord.  I am glad this day that my unemployment and this disappointment can be offered to Jesus and I hope this suffering finds profit in the salvation of a soul: one in purgatory, one here on earth, maybe even my own. 

God, please bless those who are contintually unemployed this day.  Especially those with families to support, those who are homeless, and those who are sick and in need of healthcare.  May this small, obsolete sadness in my heart be but an atom in the drop of your Precious Blood that will restore them to true life in You.  I offer this discouragment, disappointment, and all the feelings I have towards this current moment to You God that they may be made useful for the healing of a family, the reuniting of a person with the Church, or the salvation of a soul.  

God Love you,

~OneCatholicGuy

Quarter Life

Today I turn 25 and most people phrase it as, "Today you turn a quarter of a century old!"  As silly as that seems, it kinda resonates with you.  The phrase at once makes you feel 1) really old and 2) really young.

It provides a context for this milestone: you've still got miles to go before you sleep.  Century gives it a feeling of history too, your life is lived out in the history of the world and we often remember the dead as, "the generation that lived through....they saw this happen...they fought this war..."  Our lives are bigger than just our small sphere we see daily.

I had to resist the urge to make a list of what I want to do in my 25th year.  I wish I could say it was because a list would limit me too much but the real reason is I was too lazy to find a sharpened pencil (for a list like that you really need to be able to erase!) and I was scared.  Marking it down on paper makes it semi-permanent, resolutions that will lead to disappointment.  Or joy.  Depending on the list and what you make of it.

So as I take stock of my life I've noticed a few things going into 25:

• We are called to sainthood.  As I get older and notice I'm struggling with the same sins and temptations as I was when I was 15, I am aware of the continual struggle placed on us in this world and the need to embrace that suffering and offer it to God.  This is what makes saints, a total and whole love for God and a willingness to passionately endure all for Him.  I am no where near that point.  And as much as I pray that I may be a saint for the sake of God's kingdom, my flawed humanity speckles that petition abundantly with pride.  And that's okay, because we all have to continually pray to God to take our pride and give us the gift of humility, and our sin of pride can be an invitation to do that.
  
• Authentic manhood comes with age and getting closer to Christ. I often hypothesized as a kid what I would be like when I grow up to be a man.  Now that I am an adult, I'm no closer to knowing.  But as I get older, and have seen more, I see the lines filling out a little more.  I get the context of my humanity in the larger scope of society, the Church, and, most importantly, the person of Christ.  All people are called to imitate Christ but each gender in a particular way.  As a man, I feel called to empty myself as Christ did on the cross, giving for those I love everything.  But it's not a substantial gift: while Christ gives us Easter, Christmas, and every Sunday to celebrate His Sacrificial love, our sacrifice as men often is the equivalent of 5 minutes of card shopping on Valentines Day or a President's Day poem that makes the reader suffer more than the author (apologizes to my fiancee!).  But with age, the sacrifices get bigger.  Husbands will give more of themselves than a bachelor, and fathers in a way unique to them.  At all times that sacrifice must be rooted in Christ: Christ as a young man teaching in the temple turns into Christ as a bridegroom consummating his marriage to the Church with his passion and death on the cross.                                                                                                
• Work is important but not your identity.  As I previously wrote, I am recently unemployed.  But I've learned through my brief last job, a few freelance gigs here and there, and my unemployment the value and proper place of work.  Being productive and working is a good that helps round us out as people, it adds to our sense of self worth and helps us realize our potential as individuals and as a community.  But it is not everything.  I was laid off and a little over a month later my grandfather passed away.  A month after that, my other grandfather lay in the hospital for two weeks.  I've gotten to spend much more time with my family and I've seen that work is a small part of the equation but a very necessary one.  I've seen friends and loved ones become overworked, stressed beyond belief, and isolated by the drudgery  of their daily lives.  And, honestly, in my unemployment I've even been a little jealous at times of their situations just out of a desire to make a living.  But it's no living if you exist only to work.  Work is a good thing, it yields productivity, money, and self esteem.  But it is just one part of life.  Family, love, joy, charity, these are all a higher priority than work.  And at the very top of the list is God.  We do not have worth to God because we are workers for God loves all His children, even those who cannot physically or mentally be employed.
  
  Our value comes not from how much we produce but by how much we are loved by God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. So many saints have done little in the eyes of the world, neither on the top of Forbes lists or even the Church hierarchy.  I think of Saint Therese of Liseux, who died at 24, one year younger than I am today.  She did nothing in the eyes of the world, tucked away in her cloister, but she loved so completely that she's been called one of the greatest saints of modern times.  Do not become so encapsulated wholly by work that you forget you're not just a worker.  We are not made for work but for loving God and honoring Him in all we do.  Work is a necessary part of that but not superior to our leisure, family and prayer. I resolve to make time for all these areas of my life and I want to do a better job of trusting God at 25 that he will provide me with the work He calls me to.
  
• I am not ready to be a father but I look forward to learning how. Being a dad is the second most important job in the world, behind being a mom. I have no idea how to be a father at all.  I have good role models in my own father and other adult men but actaully being a dad scares the crap out of me.  But I am an engaged man and as I look forward to when I turn 26 and get married I am so excited to finally be a husband and a father.  I feel like all men are called to some sort of fatherhood whether its spiritual or physical.  With our beloved mother companions we raise the next generation and bring them into the faith.  As a new godfather to a baby just born yesterday I don't know how to guide her or help her in her faith, much less how to hold her or change a diaper.  But God will show me, good Father that He is, how to care for His child and my own, when the time comes.  

It is indeed an exciting challenge to live life.  Taking a life lesson from the first movie I ever saw in theaters, that I still love to this day, Hook: 

May we all have a joyful and blessed year, whatever our age. 

God love you!  

~OneCatholicGuy

St. Joseph the Worker

Appropriately, we kick of the month honoring Mary the Blessed Mother of Jesus with the feast of St. Joseph the Worker!  Also fitting is that I had several job related things today: an interview, two phone calls with old employers and a email request for my resume! God is good and St. Joseph definitely intercedes hardcore (Thanks God!  And thanks for the prayers St. Joe!).  

I unfortunately don't know a lot about St. Joseph the Worker as a feast day but I did find this cool reflection from American Catholic:

In a constantly necessary effort to keep Jesus from being removed from ordinary human life, the Church has from the beginning proudly emphasized that Jesus was a carpenter, obviously trained by Joseph in both the satisfactions and the drudgery of that vocation. Humanity is like God not only in thinking and loving, but also in creating. Whether we make a table or a cathedral, we are called to bear fruit with our hands and mind, ultimately for the building up of the Body of Christ.

Pretty cool to think about: one of the highest honors of humanity that show we are made in the image of God is our ability to create.  Not only to have babies (whoa now!) but to  play, write, act, draw, manufacture, imagine, and dream!

SIDEBAR: Isn't it strange that though Joseph was a master carpenter and taught the Lord his trade, the only thing we ever see him and Jesus holding is a big chunky unshaped block of wood? Seems unfittingly for the foster father of our Lord to be misrepresented as only a carpenter who makes smaller wooden beams from bigger wooden logs.

"This is a big block of wood"

"This is smaller wood"

"Hey Joe, how about we do something with this one instead of leaving it as a beam?"

All forms of creativity are our share in God's creation of the world  from those first 7 days way back in Genesis 1! So next time you do whatever creative thing you do, keep in mind you could use that as an opportunity to build the Body of Christ and show God you love Him and say "I'm going to be like you Dad/ you know I'm going to be like you". *sniffle* everytime it makes me cry, everytime!

BTW just realized Harry Chapin's kinda making a cool parallel to Jesus' command "Be perfect as your Father is perfect" but showing the humanity of our earthly fathers.  BOOM! Grab the kleenex and listen:

Call your pops and say you love him! 

God love you! ~onecatholicguy

Bible Roulette! -- Caleb's Smart Gamble

Time for a new exciting game here at One Catholic Guy called:

bible roulette!  

The game is simple: after failing to write a blog post all day, I will flip randomly through the bible and try and find a quote having to do with this Easter theme of joy!  

First up from the USCCB online bible: Song of Songs 8:8 (who do we appreciate? Go team!)

“We have a little sister;^*

she has no breasts as yet.

What shall we do for our sister

on the day she is spoken for?

Okay, maybe not the best one to start with.  Let's try one with less breasts involved...or would it be more since the sister has none?

awkward. 

So let's give this another spin in the New American Bible I get around from confirmation class: Joshua 14. 

This one is actually kind of fitting for me personally but we'll get to that in a minute.  

Essentially it's a passage about how Joshua and the elders divided up the inheritance of the Israelites once they're in Caanan.  After 40 years wandering, they've finally made it to the promised land, but who is promised what?

We hear about Caleb, who along with Joshua, spied on Caanan and reported to Moses that they could take back the land when 10 other spies called it impossible (Check it out on New Advent).  Caleb is a man of great faith and trust in the Lord and Moses promised him the land he spied on, called Hebron,  "because you have been completely loyal to the Lord, my God" Joshua 14:9.  

The really cool part for me is this quote from everyone's favorite Kenizzite (whatever that means) Caleb,

 "although I am now eighty-five years old, I am still as strong today as I was the day Moses sent me forth, with no less vigor whether for war or for ordinary tasks" Jos 14:10-11

I had little time to write today because I was actually celebrating my grandfather's 91st birthday!  So this is fortunate spin on the ol' roulette wheel.  Caleb says he's as strong today as he was over 40 years ago. Given the crazy ages we see people live to in the bible, that could be physically true but I think 40 years will slow anyone down who lives less than 500 years total.  So how is Caleb strong still?

His strength is not physical but in his passion for the Lord.  The reference point he uses for his pinnacle of strength was Moses sending him forth.  It is Caleb's mission that solidifies his resolve in the Lord and he fights against popular opinion to tell Moses what the other spies would not, that they can complete the mission; that they can return home.  And he's rewarded by God for this loyalty not only with the land of Hebron but with this strength and firmness of will. To extend the roulette analogy, Caleb put all his chips on one number, God, and was paid more profit than the world could ever give: the favor and love of God,

I think it's common for an older man to look back on his life and think of his work and livelihood.  My grandpa just today said he had gone back to work last month because he loved working.  He has fond memories of his 40 plus years of work but surely it was not fantastic on a daily basis.  Grandpa worked in a sweater factory as a presser, basically operating a gigantic steamer that made sweaters creaseless and ironically men wrinkled from the heat in their face for hours a day.  The day to day of that business was arduous and the fact that it was a seasonal job surely meant large periods of time doubting whether the factory may reopen the next year.

I feel this myself as I've been unemployed for several months.  Will I ever complete my mission and will I ever receive any sort of commission for working again?   Am I able to do what God calls me towards and how do I know what that is? Am I on the right path?

Caleb, now who we see as an old man, knows the answer.  He has done right by the Lord and remained loyal and he is still strong. He says he has vigor for both war and ordinary tasks.  Part of this is from experience I think, he's lived many more days than I have and knows how things work.  Same with my grandfather, he can say he loved working because the ordinary tasks of that work are long gone and he now sees the grander overall benefit of his career. But, more importantly both these men had an innate trust in God.  My grandfather hoped and probably prayed that the factory stayed open until next season and Caleb knew when others doubted that the Israelites could get back what God promised them because God is a reliable promise-maker.

God is good to us and the source of great strength.  In Jesus Christ's coming, we are given even greater trust that God will keep His Word since He gave us His Word who is Jesus.  And, in the fullness of the Trinity, Jesus ascends to heaven and sends down the Holy Spirit to fill us with the vigor we need to do our mission in both extraordinary and ordinary ways as Caleb is set to still do at 85 and my grandfather, in a limited way, can at 91.

And I, on the brink of 25, will hold on hope* and trust in God that He will provide and I will receive my inheritance. I have strength still in me as I am in the Body of Christ, which too shows that I am useful to God despite my flaws, imperfections, unemployment.  All of us are called into Christ's Body and in the Catholic Church we are privileged to receive our daily bread, the Eucharist to give us the strength to hold on for the 45 years until Joshua can give what Moses promised.  At the end of the day I got a call for a new interview, a job much closer to my goal than the others I've applied for. God maybe placed that for a little encouragement.  And I'm very grateful.

*(For those who can't resist completing the Mumford lyric)


So as we conclude this first bible roulette I pray for all of us who need some more trust in God today and who feel weak.  Oh God, our life, strengthen us for the journey to You in heaven.  Keep us on the path of faith and be our light as You always are.  We love You and Praise You, now and forever!

Alleluia!

~onecatholicguy