JMJ
So tonight's post is about a phenomenon that I find always happens to me:
You're in a great place spiritually. You're praying a lot, doing good works, even being productive in your job or school. Hey, things are going good! You're feeling invincible, a saint in the making! And then it happens.
Ususally it's something small. Something you overhear someone say, a sudden temptation to anger or gluttony or lust (any vice will do). And it's there now, in the back of your mind. You may even have forgotten about it later that day, but its still there.
A few hours or days later, another "it" appears. This time it may be more envy/anger/pride inducing but you stop and notice it. This one is no coincidence. And then a third "it", and now you know this is not random. So many times, when I feel I'm in a fantastic place in my relationship with God, these its appear. And they are small enough to ignore, so small in fact that you may forget to bring them to prayer and ask for help un "it"ing them.
These "its" have the same purpose: to knock you back on your butt and away from God. And, though I usually shy away from saying this because it always seems weird to say, they do come, in fact from the evil one, from the devil.
There's a fantastic quote in The Usual Suspects where a character says,
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist"And that is the truth. There is evil in this world because there is sin and we see it and participate in it. As Christians we are called to a life of grace, the opposite of sin. But still we fall. I feel that one reason is we sometimes don't name the antagonist in this battle for our souls. There are two strongly opposed sides to this fight, a fight that has gone on since Adam and Eve and will continue to the end of the world. We have to choose a side.
And the devil is scared. Because he knows that he will lose. We have a Victor already, Christ who gave us the power to overcome the ultimate effect of sin: death. Christ has won the redemption of our souls by His ultimate sacrifice! The devil has no chance to win, so his consultation prize is to drag us all down with him. Hell is the absence of God and His grace. We are built to love God and suffer when we are away from Him, that is Hell and in that way, sin itself is a taste of Hell- a separation from God.
These little "its" lead us to sin in a thousand inconspicuous ways. And that's the devil's game- get you to sin and not realize why. Even better for him is to get you to forget the concept of sin so you may fall more and more from God. So brothers and sisters, when you fall don't let him bite at your heels like the cowardly snake he is! Stand and run back to the Lord, ask for His mercy and continue on the right path!
I have personally been through a long cycle of this lately. For the past year or so, I've been falling for these stupid traps and finding myself back in the confessional on a biweekly basis. And its a little shameful and rightly so because that builds humility which you need to fight against pride. but it is necessary and so good! God loves you so much and wants nothing more than for you to return to Him in the sacraments, that's why He instituted them!
Confession is fabulous and I thank God so much for it. It is not just absolution but a restrengthening by grace, a revitalization of the corpse sin makes us. Confession brings you back to life but you need the fullness of Christ to sustain it. My problem I believe is that while I was praying every day and feeling pretty good about where I stood with God, I got complacent. The prayers slowly got less time each day and my spirit and patience wanned. And why? Because I had no sustence in me.
I propose that, for those of us faced with its, after a fall we must make a conserted effort to get back to confession as soon as possible and thereafter make an effort to attend mass as often as our schedule allows. If I had attended daily mass and received the Eucharist, I believe that Christ would provide the strength to better handle these "its" and stomp them out of my heart. Deprived of food, a soldier grows weak. Deprived of God, a man cannot stand. To survive this battle, we all need God. He is our champion and without Him, we fall.
This brings me to the final point I want to make. A few months ago, I went to confession and the priest made a very good point: ultimately, no matter how much you pray or ask God for help, the decision is yours to sin or not. You MUST choose not to sin, to give in to temptations. You have to make a choice: are you with God or not? Do you want the temporary "happiness" of sin or the Eternal Joy of being with God in Heaven?
The question must be framed that way. If you love God and desire to be with Him, you must choose to be there, to become the saint He means you to be! It's a choice I think most of us want to make, we want to do God's will but we struggle deeply with living that internal decision out. And that's where the support comes in. That's why Jesus stays with us in the Eucharist, so we will still have Him to draw upon and to grow in a relationship with.
Most days it takes me three "its" before I fall, same as it took Saint Peter before the cock crowed. I take solace in the fact that Saint Peter so often screws up in the Gospels because we're all like that. And Jesus chose Him as the rock of the Church and our first pope! We too, can be forgiven and come back to Christ!
I apologize that this is not a terribly funny or entertaining post but I promise the next one will be on a much more joy filled topic: BABIES! And Advent..... and the need to be childlike to prepare for Christmas...and other stuff probably...but also BABIES!
Yours in Christ,
OneCatholicGuy
PS: Charlie Daniels sums up Jesus' victory speech pretty well (though I doubt Jesus would curse)
"I done told you once you son of a b*tch I'm the best that's ever been!"
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